Hands up all those logical people out there who used to think love was a recipe!!! Well if you haven’t guessed yet, yepo that was me. True Love That Stands the Test of Time Recipe: 1 dash of similar interests, 1 tbsp of similar life ambitions, 1 cup of similar age, 100 ml of similar upbringing, 3 tbsp of live in close proximity, mix together well. Then add 3 cups of chemistry (heavy handed), 2 tbps of attractive physical qualities, 20 ml of secure job/income (if not on hand, add 1 cup of ambition and 1 cup of motivation to substitute.), and lastly sprinkle with sex god in bed if desired.
Oh man if it was that easy!!! F**k if it was that straight forward and simple my life would be a whole lot more logical. Why would you want love to be logical you ask, well with logical love comes expectation, comes knowledge, comes control and with control pain is much less likely to creep on the menu. That’s the thing though as I’ve gotten older I’ve started to realize the Recipe book that houses all these recipes for different types of relationships, just houses recipes of bullshit and hiding from life. It houses fake, unhappiness, and at the end of the day pain in a more easily digestible format. So why then! Why do I keep chasing my love recipe?
Have you ever just fallen so unexpectedly in love, for someone who was just so not even close to what the recipe said. You looked at it and you were like “umm I’m pretty f**king sure I ordered the True Love thanks” and the waiter looks at you unflinching and is like “Yes Ma’am this is it”. You look suss back up at them and you’re like “Ahhh it’s supposed to be red, so why is it blue?” Still dead pan, non-apologetic look. “Oh Ma’am I’m so sorry to inform you of this, but well you must be colour blind.” I wish I could say the waiter needs to do so much more training but unfortunately it’s usually me who needs to get my eyes tested instead. The unexpected loves, the loves that look nothing like the recipe, the few I’ve experienced anyway, are always the intense ones.
I found the unconventional love, I found the love that is complicated, and the love that shouldn’t work and doesn’t make sense no matter what way you look at it. I found the love that likes to rip through you life up heave everything in its path and then let it all rain down again with you left trying to find your f**king car keys. I found that love that is deep, the love that is shocking and the love that scares. I found the love that speaks to your soul, to the deepest parts of your self, the parts that crave, that want and that need. I found that addictive love, the heart breaking love, the love that is like oxygen for you. I found everything that recipe promised but it all just looked so completely different I was terrified when it came my way.
They say love is selfless and in someways I agree but f**k this love I feel so selfish in. Don’t get me wrong I want their happiness more than anything, I want their peace of mind, calmness, joy, I want to be not only what they want and need but what is right from them. But despite all that it’s a love that I can hear my own inner voice saying I need and want. It’s a love I can finally give us much as my heart has to give, but it’s a love that lets me love myself at the same time.
Why do I still care about the recipe? Why do I still hold onto it? When the few times I’ve used it it’s always failed? FUCK society’s tried and tested True Love Recipe!!!
Chicks, Dicks and Pricks 